It was a session of celebration, as we sat together and marveled over what she has accomplished. We held her achievements together between us, breathing new life into the birth that has taken place. I asked her what has been most influential in her transformation, and she spoke the answer so easily and clearly, I thought it was something she had thought about previously. Nope. Just a perfect, spontaneous answer.
‘It’s been three things,’ she said.
1. Grace and Beauty
Grace is something I’ve been contemplating recently. In moments of profound humility and appreciation, I’ve realized how dependent we all are on grace. And that’s the funny thing about coaching. There’s a certain amount of action and accountability that surely is a cornerstone of any good coaching relationship. And at the same time, the disposition of humility and receptivity may be what carry us more than anything. The step of asking for a coach, someone to hold you in your greatness and reflect it back to you over and over again, is itself brave and humble. So I was struck that this is the first thing she said has been responsible for her transformation.
Followed right on its heels by Beauty. I believe her words were ‘to just get bowled over by beauty in the small moments and remember I’m held.’ To know and believe we’re supported. Just to notice this, enhanced her feeling of a safety net and a sense of well-being. To turn to beauty and put our attention; even our sweat, there. That’s the real task at hand.
Body. Mysteriously, our bodies have a barometer and pacing mechanism that leads us on a slipstream of the most compassionate series of next steps. This is why I love working with sensitive women. We’re so attuned to relational dynamics and energies, and the more we value this, the better we can be at learning what’s truly sustainable. Inevitably, we help others do the same. It requires an enormous amount of patience to listen to the body, relax enough to calm and heal what needs calming and healing, then quietly and deftly move in the direction of inspiration. All the while saying no to that which our bodies are not yet ready for, or that which is distracting.
My role as coach is to coax out the bold greatness of an individual, while still listening closely to each person’s individual timing, and need for support. In this particular client, I have watched her grow in her own strength, while staying open and vulnerable. The self-compassion that this requires has become a magnetic invitation for those around her to step into their own power and responsibility, while also remaining open; in relationship.
Maturity. I loved what she said about this one the most. ‘To learn how to live here - integrate in the way that I’m here. In my unique circumstance, in my unique compassion and heart. Maturity should be intentional and supported by others.’ Maturity is not a stepping over of immaturity. It is holding that tender, underdeveloped part of ourselves, giving it a chance to explore safely, and then asking it to stand up. Asking for external support and naming intentions is also a vulnerable and courageous act.
Today I was proud to be part of such a courageous woman’s journey, and proud of the way I’ve held my own. I was proud to be a woman. I was proud to be a coach.